There are three types of husbands:
- Who know how to do all household chores and willing do it.
- Who don’t know and won’t do.
- Who don’t know but are willing to learn if you withhold sex.
My dad falls into the first category, some of my friends’ husbands fall in the second one, and my own darling hubby falls in the third one. Of course, I never had to withhold anything as just the cat-pity-face expression would do the trick.
And he learned a lot from me for which I give myself full credit (and a little bit to him as well – a line I will probably have to delete the day he decides to read my blogs).
My papa and father-in-law are both great with household chores and so I was in for the shock of my life when I came to know that my husband did not know how to cook/clean/care. The crusader of gender equality that I am (only where it seems logical), I made it abundantly clear that this won’t do.
My mother-in-law also set me up for this challenge saying, “What I couldn’t do in 25 years, I hope you do in 25 months”.
We have been married for 28 months now, and I am proud to say my husband has not only shared the burden of household chores, but has done so happily (that’s my superficial guess).
Well, if the woman of the house is also earning and is contributing to the family income, why is it such an unthinkable task for the man to help her out with gharelu-stuff? We are not asking for the moon here, are we?
How much he helped me with house-work dawned on me only when he had to go on an official tour for a week.
The late riser that I am, I don’t know what goes on in the house till 11am. In that time, he wakes up early, opens to door twice/thrice to collect milk packets and hand out the garbage. He boils up the milk, makes his coffee, makes a quick sandwich before he goes to work. That week, I cursed the milkman and the garbage man.
Pati ji would usually come home for lunch and would take it upon himself to heat up the leftovers in the microwave. Often, if I was fighting the battle to get the lunch ready in time, he would help out by washing the dhaniya patti from the fridge and getting plates ready. That week, I ate food cold and without dhaniya-patti.
On Sundays and national holidays, he becomes the chef designate and would dish out simple recipes I taught him, like poha, bread upma, omelette, maggi, bhurji, aloo ki sabji etc. That week, I didn’t realise when Sunday aya and gaya!
Laundry is his territory. Yes yes, I know Ariel walas will be very happy about this, as their whole campaign revolves around the man doing the laundry. My husband does it simply because our fully automatic washing machine has a colourful digital display and punching buttons makes him feel like a video game player. He puts the clothes out to dry as well. That week, I didn’t wash any clothes.
But his best quality – the awesome tea that he makes! It is simply chaigasmic!
And then there are the small things that matter in the big picture – like letting the cat in and out, feeding her, tolerating her kittens, clearing the dining table after a meal, removing the hair stuck in the bathroom mesh (yuck) and killing cockroaches with bare-hands.
All this while I work from home (as a content writer now). But I imagine that most husbands also lend a helping hand to women who have fixed 9-5 jobs, in which case the help becomes extremely necessary. So to all those men who stand right next to the water cooler and still expect the wife to fill up a glass and hand it to them – abhi bhi time hai, sudhar jao!